Connection of Evil!
by Wilhelm Wang
As the situation in Urumqi returns to normal once again, naturally the government has turned to carrying out a thorough and impartial investigation focusing on what caused the riots and ethnic tension in the first place.
"There is strong evidence," a spokesman for China's Ministry of State Security (MSS) unveiled yesterday, "that foreign elements are heavily involved in deceiving the patriotic people of Xinjiang and stirring them up into a state of irrational frenzy."
"The Weiwuer zu are 100% happy with their situation and the economic development that has occurred in their region. They love learning Chinese, and they love working for Chinese people! All they want are jobs, and the Han population of Urumqi provides this for them! Who's to say that sweeping streets and picking up litter dropped by teenagers isn't a rewarding profession? That's right, no one. At all."
He went on to explain that the evil separatist exiles, as in the case of the Dalai Llama last year, are almost certainly receiving support from foreign firms which, entirely coincidentally, are successfully competing here in China.
I visited a bar rumored to be frequented by members of China's security and spy apparatus. The China Uyghur Nationalism Threat Surveillance. There I met an analyst who revealed some shocking secrets, soon to be made public in China's media.
Even before I had written down my notes on the conversations, I began to suspect that a boycott of GOOGLE INC's search engine, email services and mapping services is the only way to bring this renegade corporation under control, and force them to respect the territorial integrity of this wonderful country.
My only hope is that the well educated and peaceful Chinese people are able to bring their usual objectivity and clarity to bare and decide once and for all that the rest of the world is afraid and jealous of China and thus is working continuously to weaken it from within. It is only natural that Chinese consumers should boycott foreign companies involved in this plot. GOOGLE, McDonald's, KFC, Subway, 7-11, your time is coming!!!