Beijing Government Seeks 4000 Chinese looking (foreign Chinese acceptable) people to act as happy patriotic citizens around olympic venues. Fluency in English and / or other languages (French / Spanish / maybe Japanese) necessary. Candidates will be familiar with boasting about China and should have ability to blindly and obstinately ignore / deliberately misinterpret and counter arguments. Ability to wear red (with some yellow) a bonus.

City government seeks people with healthy lungs to stand around Olympic Venues and suck pollution from the air. Must be available to work in August. Residents of mainland China will automatically be disqualified due to healthy lung requirement. Salary possible. No health insurance available. Return airfare to third world negotiable.

Healthy-looking girls aged between 19 and 23 wanted to perform moderately risque dance sequence for Olympic-themed product launch in Wangufjing. Must be willing to be objectified by selection panel of three overweight men.

Wealthy Chinese Neauveau Riche (Former Government Party Worker) seeks paintperson willing receipt commission to creating a series Olympic theme works. Paintings be computer digitized and project on clouds in Chinese city of Zhengzhou. If you want job here, contact Wang from Zhengzhou.