During a recent trip abroad. Kitty Yip Kee Wah awoke in a strange flat. With no one else around, she took the opportunity to help herself to the silverware, which she wrapped in some papers found on the study desk. When Arabella was presented with these papers by gou-rou.com's legal team during the follow-up scandal, she discovered that the papers were internal documents from a large corporation relating to an emergency board meeting. Warned that disclosure of these documents would be illegal, gou-rou.com brings them to you here.
Re: Emergency Board Meeting. 4th April 2008.
Board Members attending: [edited out as unnecessary]
Preparatory notes to meeting:
Meeting called for following reasons:-
Summer PR EVENT 2008.
1. The situation regarding the company's hugely expensive summer promotional event has become quite dire. Whereas we had expected to effortlessly win everybody's love and adoration, whilst establishing our company's brand as world famous and world respected, it seems that our efforts have been at best unsuccessful, and at worst have achieved the opposite effect.
2. Our summer PR exercise is modeled entirely on very similar events that other companies have held previously. These include very successful ones near the Mediterranean 4 years ago, in Eastern Australia 4 years before that, the 1996 USA event, and the Barcelona Summer Fete of 1992. These events all went ahead without any major problems; we must try to establish how it is that ours has become so difficult. Does anyone have even the faintest idea? Were they better at micro-managing, for instance?
3. Our advisory members have suggested that we are being severely affected by continuing negative fallout from our hostile take-over of Snowy Mountain Peaceful Corporation decades ago. Staff we absorbed during this takeover continue to harbour resentments about the deal--and about the aggressive restructuring and streamlining that we have carried out since. Perhaps we should "lay them off" (as we did to others back then and at various times since.) We should also try to convince everyone that the takeover was vital in making the Snowy Mountain Peaceful Corporation more competitive, and that the many staff we transferred into their divisions have been developing their HR and skill-set dramatically.
4. It may be useful to accuse these resentful staff members of secretly working with their former colleagues (the ones who simply moved to the next office building and set up a new rival company.) This would undermine them--as it would mean they are contravening company non-disclosure and corporate espionage laws. Perhaps some of our other competitors could be accused too; we must take every opportunity to hurt the competition.
5. It is especially important that the PR event is seen as successful by our own staff, as they are aware how much it has cost us, and may feel that the money could have been spent elsewhere--on the company health insurance plan or the office environment for example. Accusing our competitors will promote a sense of "team spirit" in our workers, and will make them even more proud of the event (not to mention less interested in examining our own finances.) It should be noted that we successfully forestalled any internal debate about the cost-benefit side of our company's recent "Mass Balloon Launch" PR exercises.
6. The preliminary events that we held in key areas of future expansion/interest have proved to be a disaster. For some reason the journalists we invited to cover the event gave us some very negative reviews. Inexplicably, these journalists got even angrier when our security guards beat the anti-monopoly protestors with sticks. We need to leak the theory that these journalists have been paid off by other competitors; we should also make sure we have as many friendly journalists at the PR event as possible. Perhaps we can stop others from getting tickets, or permission to enter Company property? At follow-up events, we either had more trouble or had security so tight that no one could see anything anyway.
7. We have already begun organizing some grassroots events to show support for our Summer Promotional Event in several parts of the world. Surely no one will suspect that we are behind it, and will presume it is just spontaneous outpourings of love for our brand.
8. Maybe we could organize a large inter-company soccer tournament in the future? Perhaps in 2014 or 2018? Everyone loves soccer, and we are bound to come out looking good. Get Janine onto this at once.
Company Canteen Prices: 1) Prices in the company canteens have recently undergone a series of rises. These rises may soon cause resentment amongst our staff. They believe that as the company has made so much profit recently, perhaps we could subsidise the canteens. Whilst this may seem... (enough corporate bean spilling -- Ed)